Good Questions and the "Shared Pool of Knowledge"

In our last blog post we discussed the power of punctuation, and I suggested that the quality of the questions matter. (If you have not read that or if you need a refresher, you can see it here). Almost invariably, question marks defuse the tension in the room and allow us to get to a shared pool of knowledge. I think what I think because I know what I know. You think what you think because you know what you know. What would we think if we each knew what both of us knew? (I am amazed at the number of times an argument goes away before it is even started once we know what the other knows.) This technique of opening “a shared pool of knowledge” is a gamechanger. Before we get into an argument, let's both put what we know into the shared pool of knowledge and then, with that knowledge, decide our positions.

For example, I want to appoint Jill to a project, you want to appoint Jane. Rather than espousing the qualities of Jill and why she is the right choice, I ask you what you know about the situation. You tell me that Jill has shared that she is very frustrated with her workload and is trying to take on no additional tasks until she finishes her backlog. You further share that Jane recently completed a project that got stellar reviews from all involved. Wow. There is no argument. We both agree to assign Jane to the project.

Compare that result to my taking 15 minutes to tell you why Jill is the right choice and Jane is the wrong choice without any questions first. Starting with questions leads us to a solution found in a shared pool of knowledge. In this, there is not a winner and a loser, rather, a shared understanding that leads to agreement.

Even when the shared pool of knowledge does not change our perspective, questions are still effective. "What leads you to your conclusion?" is far preferable to "that's a bad idea" or simply acting without that understanding.

Does this mean that any question will do? While often a question is a more powerful tool than a statement, there is at least one type of question that is highly ineffective in these types of conversations. Effective questions seek to understand. Consequently, any question that is not seeking understanding but is instead testing the knowledge of the other person (and therefore risking embarrassment to them) should be avoided.

Effective questions seek to understand. Consequently, any question that is not seeking understanding but is instead testing the knowledge of the other person (and therefore risking embarrassment to them) should be avoided.

For example, “Can you teach me your thinking behind this?” is far better than, “Do you know the main reason this won't work?” In the first question, the interlocuter is truly seeking to understand.  In the second, they are potentially lording some secret knowledge that could embarrass the other. Transformative leaders avoid questions that can put people on the defensive. They are masters of questions that bring understanding and illuminate the topic further—they bring light, not heat.

Further, the same material phrased as a question lands more softly and avoids the need for a defensive posture on the part of the recipient. For example, “Is there a concern about how this position aligns with the available data?”  is far less inflammatory than “The data show you are wrong!”

For determined leaders, the purpose of discussing a disagreement is never to win a point or to embarrass someone else. It is to gain understanding so as to make the best choice for their organization.  Using the right kind of questions can do just that.

Try this for yourself. Walk into your next meeting with “questions before statements” written at the top of your notepad. Listen intently. Take notes on what others are saying. Formulate questions that bring light, not heat—questions that increase understanding for all involved. Seek to understand before making broad statements. Avoid questions that might put others on the defensive. Once the shared pool of knowledge is full, seek resolution.

And feel free to reach out and let me know how it goes.