Milk on the Floor

One of the most common issues leaders bring to me is what I call the “milk on the floor” problem. It usually goes something like this:

Leader: I’ve noticed that for years we’ve had milk on the floor.

Me: Tell me more.

Leader: I’m trying to remember a time when it wasn’t there, but I can’t think of one. I’m beginning to wonder if it has always been there.

Me: Tell me more.

Leader: Well, don’t get me wrong—we eventually clean it up. But then we start again tomorrow.

Me: Is it on the floor when you get to work?

Leader: You know, I’m not really sure. First thing in the morning we meet to fill the milk jugs.

Me: What do you use to fill them?

Leader: Five quarts of milk.

And there’s the problem.

You cannot pour five quarts into a gallon jug. It doesn't matter how careful you are, how skillful you are, or how much experience you have. When we try to pour five quarts into a four-quart container, we are going to have milk on the floor.

That leaves us with a few options:

Option 1: Choose the four quarts that will go into the jug and leave one quart untouched.

Option 2: Pour a little of each of the five quarts into the gallon jug until it is full, leaving some milk behind in every container.

Option 3: Get used to milk on the floor.

Most leaders choose Option 3.

This is why I struggle with the phrase time management. There really is no such thing. You cannot manage time. Go ahead and try. I'll wait. See if you can get 61 seconds into a minute, 65 minutes into an hour, a 25-hour day, or an eight-day week. Not possible.

The issue is not managing time. The issue is managing ourselves within time. In fact, I would argue that it is really about managing our energy within time, but that's a topic for another post.

The issue is not managing time.

The reality is that we all have more demands than our gallon jug can hold. We all have five quarts (or more!) and only four quarts of capacity. The challenge is that we keep thinking we can make it fit.

We tell ourselves that next month will be different. When this project is over. When the kids are older. When we hire someone. When we finally get organized. When summer comes. When fall comes. When things settle down.

But for most leaders, things never settle down. We simply become more efficient at spilling milk and more tolerant of the mess on the floor. And eventually, the milk on the floor starts to look normal.

The unfinished strategic plan becomes normal. The important conversation you never get around to having becomes normal. The date nights you keep postponing become normal. The exercise program you will start next week becomes normal. The stack of books you intend to read becomes normal. We adapt to the overflow.

Here’s a solid truth: Good leaders have good to-do lists; transformative leaders have great to-don't lists.

Transformative leaders understand that every "yes" is also a "no." More accurately, several no’s. Every commitment means other things will not get done. Every new initiative, every committee, every meeting, every worthy cause takes up space in the jug. Does it belong there?

Good leaders have good to-do lists; transformative leaders have great to-don't lists.

The question is not whether you have milk on the floor. We all do. The question is whether you are willing to admit why it's there. It’s not an app problem. It’s not a time problem. It’s an us problem. We have met the enemy. It is us. Leadership requires the courage to decide what will not make it into the jug tomorrow, even when it is much easier to keep mopping up the milk on the floor.

A few questions:

·       Where is the milk on the floor in your life right now?

·       What keeps spilling over no matter how hard you work?

·       What are you repeatedly apologizing for, postponing, or promising yourself you'll get to next week?

·       And perhaps the hardest question of all: When your gallon jug is full, what are you willing to stop pouring into it?

If you can’t answer that last question, bring a mop tomorrow.