The Power of a Preposition

An earlier blog post discussed the power of punctuation. Simply shifting from exclamation points and periods to question marks can have a profound impact on the success of any conversation. Here, I introduce what I believe to be the most powerful prepositional shift in the English language.

In our last blog post, we talked about the ‘hood to avoid: victimhood. I shared that “Poor leaders often see themselves and even declare themselves victims (to the detriment of their organizations). Transformative leaders never do. Instead, they build into their teams and rally the troops to focus on what they control.” There is one simple prepositional change that shifts us away from the victim mindset immediately.

“Why is this happening to me?” is an all-too-common phrase. It sets us up as the victim, subject to the whims of fate or the actions of others—something is happening to us. We have no control or agency. We are a victim. Yet simply changing one preposition moves us from a place of victimhood to one of empowerment.

“Why is this happening FOR me?” fundamentally shifts the entire paradigm.

“Why is this happening FOR me?” fundamentally shifts the entire paradigm. It serves as a powerful antidote to victimhood by shifting our perspective from passive recipient to active participant. In changing the preposition from "to" to "for," we initiate a fundamental change in our relationship to the situation. We move from a sense of helplessness and victimhood to a proactive stance, recognizing that every challenge holds opportunity.

"Why is this happening for me?" nurtures the growth mindset. According to psychologist Carol Dweck, a growth mindset is the belief that our abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. By framing our experiences as opportunities for growth, we are more likely to embrace challenges, persist in the face of setbacks, and see hard work and perseverance as tools toward mastery. This mindset not only enhances our ability to cope with adversity but also empowers us to thrive and excel in all aspects of life.

Even better, "Why is this happening for us?" enhances our sense of gratitude and appreciation. When we view challenges as opportunities for growth, we begin to appreciate the richness and complexity of our experiences. This perspective fosters a deeper connection with ourselves and others, as we recognize the shared human journey of overcoming obstacles. Gratitude has been linked to numerous benefits, including improved mental health, increased happiness, and stronger relationships.

Often, our greatest opportunities come to us brilliantly disguised as obstacles.

By embracing this empowering question, we can transform our adversities into catalysts for positive change and personal development. By adopting this mindset, we cultivate resilience, develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us, and emerge from difficult experiences stronger and more capable than before.

Because I spend a lot of time at a computer, I try to get some type of physical exercise at least three times a day. Physical exercise has been a solace to me through many high-stress executive positions. Recently, I overdid it and set myself back such that, temporarily, I am not allowed to exercise at all. I must take weeks off to recuperate. I'm not to exercise or even walk long distances. At first this infuriated and demoralized me. I need physical activity to balance my sedentary work life.

But when I asked myself why is this happening for me, I had a major epiphany. I have been laboring under a vast misunderstanding about exercise. I assumed that since I walked and/or used an elliptical every day, I did not need to do lower body workouts. I limited strength training to upper body figuring that the other things I did took care of lower body (boy, was I wrong). Suffering this setback made me realize how vital strong core muscles are. I need to strengthen these before I move (further?) into old age. I need to strengthen these muscles to keep this from happening again.

One simple preposition moved me from victim to architect. I now have the plans to build a stronger, more resilient aging body.

What is happening for you right now? Often, our greatest opportunities come to us brilliantly disguised as obstacles. What challenges are you facing right now? How can you shift from victim to architect?

You got this.