The present of being Present

Leadership is hard. Sometimes, the holidays make it harder—especially when annual deadlines collide with year-end fatigue. Work does not slow simply because the calendar suggests it should, and leadership doesn’t pause because schools close or offices empty out. For many leaders, the holidays bring a familiar tension: finishing strong professionally while showing up fully for the people who matter most personally.

What often happens instead is a kind of partial absence. Many leaders technically take time off but remain mentally tethered to work. Phones stay close. Emails get checked. Work still gets done. The cost of this divided presence is real. Families feel it. Partners notice it. Children learn what competes for attention. And leaders miss the restorative power of downtime—of being fully engaged where they are.

peace is simply keeping your head where your feet are.

To my mind, peace is simply keeping your head where your feet are. Too often during the holidays, our feet are one place while our minds are another. We burn the midnight oil at work while we wonder what is happening at home; we are home but distracted worrying about work. Peace comes when our head is where our feet are—when our attention and presence are aligned.

I get why this is hard. Leaders often feel the weight of being the steady presence, the one who holds things together when others step away. Even when no one explicitly asks, a quiet worry hums in the background: If I don’t stay on top of this, things might slip. Responsibility has momentum. Carry it long enough and it can feel irresponsible to put it down—even briefly. Many leaders tell themselves they’ll rest once things are “settled,” once the year is closed, once the milestone is reached. The problem, of course, is that leadership is never finished. That day never comes.

Responsibility has momentum. Carry it long enough and it can feel irresponsible to put it down—even briefly.

The holidays expose this truth. They shine a light on how accustomed leaders have become to constant availability, quick responses, the mental multitasking. And sometimes, they surface quieter questions beneath the stress: If I step away, what happens? If I am not my title, who am I?

Because people watch what leaders do far more closely than what they say, the impact of leaders who never disconnect extends far beyond their own exhaustion. When a leader never fully disengages, it sends a message—often an unintentional one—that constant vigilance is the price of commitment. Leaders quietly teach their organizations that rest is optional and overextension is normal—even expected.

Time away is not a personal indulgence or a prize for completing enough tasks.

Time away, then, is not a personal indulgence or a prize for completing enough tasks. Taking time away is not a reward; it is a responsibility. It is good leadership. Stepping back creates space for perspective, rejuvenation, and resilience—for the leader and for the system they lead.

Healthy organizations are not built on heroic endurance. They are built on clarity, shared responsibility, and leaders who trust the systems and people they’ve developed. They are built as much on to-don’t lists as on to-do lists.

Perhaps this season invites a different posture. Can you decide in advance what you can do without? What belongs on the to-don’t list? Of the things that remain, which truly require your attention? Can you communicate work/home boundaries clearly? Can you create a clean handoff rather than hovering from a distance?

The holidays are not asking leaders to abandon responsibility, but they are offering an opportunity to remember our humanity. We are more than our jobs.

The holidays offer an opportunity to remember our humanity.

And if stepping away feels uncomfortable—or even irresponsible—that discomfort may be pointing to something deeper than workload. It may be pointing to identity. That question deserves more than a hurried answer.

Next week, we’ll explore it directly: Who are you, apart from what you do?

For now, take a look at your calendar and your time away from the office. Consider firmer boundaries. Think of the life you are modeling. Check in with yourself regularly and ask: Is my head where my feet are?

Then sleep in heavenly peace.